The Marvelous Misadventures of Fredegar Bolger
by Mod Fae
Summary: Fredegar "Fatty" Bolger is always getting himself in a bind. Follow Fatty as he navigates through life in The Shire with help from his friends and family.
1. Thumbless mittens?

**A/N: **_Here is a story about my favorite hobbit, Fredegar Bolger. Good ol' Fatty, he's an odd duck but so adorable. I obviously do not own Lord of The Rings. Enjoy and review!_

There are several things that a proper hobbit does not do. These rules, or guidelines, are not written, but everyone knows them. Hobbits tend to like to avoid adventures and any behavior that may seem to be "un-hobbit-like". One hobbit in particular seemed prone to strange ideas and pursuits. This is the story of his most passionate affair with a very un-hobbit-like behavior.

Estella Bolger and her mother Rosamunda returned home from a day of shopping carrying several bundles wrapped in brown paper. They stopped in the doorway to their Hobbit-Hole and looked in wonder at the young hobbit knitting in the chair directly opposite the door.

"Fatty, dear- What are you doing?" Rosamunda asked her son as she watched him mouth "knit two, purl one".

"I've taken up knitting as a hobby, I have some fantastic ideas of things I could make and I'm very excited to show you once they are finished," Fredegar "Fatty" Bolger replied to his mother's questioning, not noticing the odd looks both she and Estella were giving him.

"What kind of fantastic ideas?" Estella asked slowly. She was all too familiar with the sort of "fantastic" ideas her brother would think up. None ended well in her opinion. Her most painful memory of Fatty's "fantastic" ideas was when he had opened his own garden slug and snail racing track, building the track outside Estella's window without her knowledge. Many early snail gamblers had almost seen Estella change out of her nightgown right in front of them.

"You'll just have to wait and see what I'm making," Fatty said as he counted his stitches.

Estella opened her mouth to say something else but was hushed by her mother. "Come on Estella, let's put away our purchases," Rosamunda cheerily said as she bustled her daughter towards the bedrooms. "Leave him alone, this seems like one pursuit that could actually be good for him. Just be grateful he hasn't opened his mushroom juice business back up,"

Estella shuddered at the thought of mushroom juice. Every hobbit loved mushrooms, but somehow mushroom juice was just one culinary creation that should not be explored.

As the women of the household put away their packages, Fatty opened up his knitting bag to compare his current knitting project to an identical match. They both seemed to be coming out even and there were no noticeable differences. Pleased, Fatty put his current project away on top of several other similar finished projects and went outside to see if there was any mail in their box.

The mail box held nothing but a few spiders that did not acknowledge Fatty's presence. Fatty sighed, he had hoped there would be an invitation to some party. Parties seemed to always be held in the Shire, except just at the moment when Fatty wished to attend one. He wanted to make a grand entrance with his new project, he felt his current project would be his crowning acheivement and wanted all his friends and family to witness. As Fatty played the moment in his mind, another idea pushed its way past his fantasy. Many of his friends often regulated the local pub The Golden Perch, what better way to hear news of a party than from the horse's mouth? Fatty felt he could use a pint of ale anyways, after all the work he had done knitting today. Fatty set out to The Golden Perch, thirsty and hopeful to meet up with some of his friends.

Inside the Bolger's Hobbit Hole, Estella finished putting her things away and returned to inquire after Fatty's current project without their mother around. Fatty was nowhere to be seen, but his knitting bag was left in the chair he had been sitting in moments before. Glancing around to see if her mother, who would scold her for snooping, was not around Estella opened the knitting bag and looked at its contents.

A puzzled look overcame Estella's face as she tried to make sense of the contents. She could not figure out what these pairs of knitted- well, she had no idea what to call them. They were almost like mittens, but without a place for the thumb to go. Estella scratched her head in thought. Could Fatty be making mittens for hobbits that have lost their thumbs in wood-chopping accidents? Estella could not recall any sort of accident occurring but she did not consider herself to be a busybody so it was all-together possible that there had been such an accident. Estella replaced the thumb-less mittens and curious to hear her mother's opinion about thumb-less hobbits, ventured inside her parent's bedroom.

"I think I might have changed my mind about the cotton again," Rosamunda mused to her daughter as she laid some of her garments against fabric she had bought.

"I told you that you would change your mind once you saw it with your other things," Estella replied as she sat on a chest at the foot of her parent's bed.

"Oh well, it looked so nice on the shelf- No matter, your father could use some new shirts," Rosamunda said as she folded up the pink and white rose-bud patterned cotton.

Estella rolled her eyes, sometimes she did not have to wonder where her brother's eccentric side came from. "Mother, I was wondering- have you heard of any hobbits losing their thumbs?" finally bringing up the subject she had come into the bedroom for.

"No, dear why? You're brother isn't making thumb-less mittens or some such nonsense is he?"

"Actually, I thik that's exactly what he's making. I looked in his knitting bag and-"

"Oh, Estella! How many times have I told you to not snoop in your brother's things?"

"But- I was- Look, someone has to keep an eye on what he is doing!"

"Fatty is a grown boy, he can look after himself. He does not need you smothering him, Estella."

"Mother, I am not smothering my brother. I just want to make sure he does not do anything I will regret."

"He can make his own decisions, and besides I think it is good for your brother to try to help the poor thumb-less hobbits," Rosamunda said in a tone that made it sound like thumb-less hobbits were lining up in the streets.

"A minute ago you said you'd never heard of any thumb-less hobbits!" Estella cried, upset that her mother was not concerned about what Fatty was doing.

"Estella, unlike my daughter, I am not a busy-body. Perhaps Fatty's friends related a sad story of their thumb-less neighbors and Fatty is looking to help them out. I should think that would be a good thing,"

Estella sighed, there was no talking to her mother about what was going on with Fatty until he finally revealed his master plan. Which more often than not was a pleasant plan. Shaking her head at why her mother would choose to not stop the inevitable a head of time, Estella stood up and said to her mother. "I'm sorry Mother, I should not have looked in Fatty's knitting bag without asking. I'll go start dinner for you while you finish putting away your things,"

"Thank you, Estella. You're such a good girl, don't worry about your brother, I'm sure it is nothing to worry about," Rosamunda said cheerfully as she began to clean up the mess she had made of her room and Estella left to begin dinner.


	2. Fatty Bolger, Hobbit Psychic

The Golden Perch was almost bursting with the hobbits that filled its interior. Fatty could see several familiar faces, but could not move through the crowds to greet any of them. He sat at the closest available seat and waited for a barmaid to serve him an ale. The barmaids seemed to be having difficulty navigating through the crowds as well, not to mention they were too busy to get to anyone in a sort of orderly fashion.

Fatty looked over the crowd and tried to get the attention of the hobbits he knew. Without much success, Fatty noticed his father, Odovacar Bolger, sitting with several other hobbits his age. Fatty waved at his father but like the rest of the hobbits, he did not notice Fatty. It was far too crowded and noisy to notice anyone other than those already sitting at their tables.

As Fatty finally placed an order with a barmaid for an ale, he saw his father get up from the table he was at and leave the Golden Perch. Dinner was approaching fairly quickly, and Fatty felt he should be leaving for home soon himself, but he hadn't gotten his ale yet. As Odovacar left the Golden Perch, many other hobbits cleared out as well. Most of them had likely come for a pre-dinner ale and sheppard's pie and were now headed back home for dinner. Few hobbits remained in the Golden Perch as Fatty finally received his ale.

As Fatty sipped at his ale, he noticed that all of his friends that he had seen as he had entered the Golden Perch had left with the dinner rush. The few hobbits that remained seemed to be on the more elderly side, most likely they were getting to the point where making their own food was just too much effort. Fatty contemplated what his mother would be fixing for dinner as he watched what the elder hobbits were ordering for their dinners.

At the Bolger home, Odovacar had just returned from the Golden Perch and was sharing a bit of gossip with his wife and daughter. "I was having a pint with Hobson Bunce and a few of the other lads, and Hobson was saying that his cousin from Michel Delving had an accident yesterday and lost his left thumb. Isn't that the oddest thing you ever heard? 'Course I feel sorry for the poor bloke," Odovacar wrinkled his brow as he tried to decipher the odd looks Rosamunda and Estella were giving each other.

"This only happened yesterday?" Estella asked as she tossed a salad.

"That's what I said, not many people have heard about the accident. Trying to keep it quiet for now, proud fellow I heard from Hobson. Doesn't want a bunch of sympathy gifts and such," Odovacar replied.

"And this is the only incident of a hobbit loosing their thumb?" Estella asked, exchanging glances with her mother.

"Well, I would not know if it is the only incident, but it is the only case I've ever heard of- What are you two thinking? I can tell you've got something you're not sharing with me," Odovacar said, semi-pouting that his wife and daughter were not letting him in on their secrets.

"Oh it's nothing, I'm sure," Rosamunda began before Estella could say anything, "Fatty has just been knitting some thumb-less mittens,"

"How thoughtful of him, he must have just heard about it before I did. Wonder who said anything to him about it. Perhaps it was that Bunce lass, I keep saying Fatty should court her," Odovacar began to drift off in his mind, thinking about a union between Fatty and the Bunce lass.

Estella wrinkled her nose, "Oh, I wish you would drop that about Poppy and Fatty. She's not at all good for Fatty-" Estella stopped herself before she went off track about Poppy's faults. "Anyways, I don't think he heard it from Poppy, she's just left this morning to visit a cousin. Fatty seems to have heard about it before now, he has an awful lot of mittens finished already,"

"He couldn't have heard about it before today, why even Hobson's only heard of it today. How- how many mittens has he made?" Odovacar asked furrowing his brow.

"Dozens," Estella replied.

Rosamunda sighed, "Oh, can't we drop this? I don't think it is any use pondering whether Fatty can predict the future or not,"

Both Estella and Odovacar stared at Rosamunda with open mouths. "Mother, no one has said anything about Fatty being able to predict the future," Estella looked to her father and felt assured in his nodding.

"Well, we were all thinking it, I know I was," Rosamunda said shrugging as she set the table.

"No Rosa, I don't think any of us were thinking that besides you. But, now that you mention it, that does make sense," Odovacar stroked his chin in thought, leaning back in his chair.

"No- no it does not make sense! Come on you two, this is the silliest idea anyone has ever thought of! You can't both be serious!" Estella argued, but her reasoning was lost on her parents.

"I suppose we'll have to test his powers," Odovacar contemplated.

"Father no, we'll do no such thing,"

"Why don't you go and meet him on the road, see if he knows what's for dinner," Rosamunda suggested.

"Of all the ideas, Mother that-"

"Yes, and if he guesses correctly then we'll know for sure," Odovacar agreed as he grabbed his coat.

"-and with the right breeze the scent would carry it right to-"

"Don't be too long, dinner will get cold," Rosamunda said as Odovacar left to meet Fatty on the road.

"I hope you do not wonder why Fatty is the way he is," Estella said sharply as she started putting dinner on the table.

Fatty puffed along the road home, eager to get back before dinner got cold. He was just coming around a bend in the road, his favorite bend for it was here he could begin to smell anything being cooked in their kitchen, when we found his father come around the corner to meet him.

"Hullo there! Am I late? Sorry you had to come looking for me," Fatty apologized as Odovacar grabbed his arm.

"Son, tell me honestly, do you know what is for dinner?" Odovacar asked with wide eyes.

"If Mum being secretive again? I imagine she's had Estella make a salad, as she always does, and there's-" Fatty paused to sniff the air "-a roast with mushrooms and red potatoes? Yes, and she's boiled some green beans and made rolls,"

Odovacar shook his son in excitement, "Oh my dear boy! Yes! You've got it!"

Fatty smiled, "Next time why don't you just ask Mum what she's making?"

Odovacar laughed, "Why ask her when I could ask you!"

"Well, I do have a way with words," Fatty chuckled as he and his father headed back to their Hobbit-Hole.

When they had entered Odovacar clapped him on the back and announced, "He did it, he knew exactly what you had made, Rosamunda!"

Fatty looked confused as both his parents hugged him tightly, "What- what's all this?"

Rosamunda held Fatty's face between her hands, "Oh, I always knew you'd be a special lad!"

Fatty glanced with a confused look at his sister's direction. Estella just stood there with her arms crossed, shaking her head. Fatty raised an eyebrow at her, silently asking what was going on. Estella just rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air.

Turning from his sister back to his mother, Fatty asked, "Um, Mum... Can we eat now?"

"Of course," Rosamunda said blinking back a few tears "anything for my special boy!"

Odovacar ruffled Fatty's hair, muttering "There's my boy," as the family sat down to dinner. During dinner, Fatty became so involved with his food that he soon forgot about the strange behaviors of his parents. After dinner, Fatty excused himself and took his knitting bag into his room to work more on his project. Leaving his parents to whisper about what this could mean for the family, and how they'd have to keep it a secret and Estella to wonder how she ever managed to turn out normal.**  
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